I spent the night grading our 4th benchmark exam..after a day of PD where are admin laid out for us the reality of our new renewal guidelines.
To sum it up it all comes down to test scores. My school may close and it could be all my fault. I'm not clear on if they are going to go off this year's scores or next, but I know that my kids did very poorly on this benchmark exam which I modeled very closely to the NJ Ask.
I'm not sure what I am feeling right now. A little bit of shock and sadness is the majority of it. I know that if our charter's renewal is not contingent on this years scores, as least hopefully I will only be the nail in one coffin (my own) instead of every teacher at my school.
This does not give me any relief though, I am extremely heartbroken. I love my job so much. I love the stress, I love dealing with the crappy teenage attitudes. I LOVE teaching math all day. However, I guess I'm not really teaching if they are not passing the tests.
I am so sad. That's just it, sad. I can make a million excuses, but how am I going to ever teach anywhere else when I've started my career with such failure?
No!!!!!!!! This is AWFUL, Robin, if they go by test scores!! I'd be fired tomorrow if they went by my 6th graders' scores. That's ridiculous. I'm so sorry for all you're feeling.
ReplyDelete"I LOVE teaching math all day." Our profession needs to keep every teacher who's passionate about teaching math like you are.
Sending you HUGS, Robin. Please keep us updated.
Thanks Fawn. It is really scary and has put my self overconfidence as a still new teacher right in the trash.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately we as a charter school have to worry about our renewals every 5 years and we are held to a much higher standard than the district. It still stinks as we provide our students with so much. I teach in a very urban area and safety is a big issue with our kids, and I couldn't feel safer in my school-I know the kids do too.
whoops how funny, I don't know why I typed overconfidnece! LOL
ReplyDeleteBut I like "overconfidence" because we teachers totally LACK this! LOL
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about the 5-year renewal with charter schools. Higher standards are all well and good, but criteria must be justified and reasonable.
Agree with Fawn on this one, Robin. I bombed my first year of teaching 6th grade, but admin was supportive and she's right--if you love your job and continue to want to get better, you will. Keep it up!
ReplyDelete