I spent the night grading our 4th benchmark exam..after a day of PD where are admin laid out for us the reality of our new renewal guidelines.
To sum it up it all comes down to test scores. My school may close and it could be all my fault. I'm not clear on if they are going to go off this year's scores or next, but I know that my kids did very poorly on this benchmark exam which I modeled very closely to the NJ Ask.
I'm not sure what I am feeling right now. A little bit of shock and sadness is the majority of it. I know that if our charter's renewal is not contingent on this years scores, as least hopefully I will only be the nail in one coffin (my own) instead of every teacher at my school.
This does not give me any relief though, I am extremely heartbroken. I love my job so much. I love the stress, I love dealing with the crappy teenage attitudes. I LOVE teaching math all day. However, I guess I'm not really teaching if they are not passing the tests.
I am so sad. That's just it, sad. I can make a million excuses, but how am I going to ever teach anywhere else when I've started my career with such failure?